Doctor Tran

Dr. Tran!















Watch the movie here

The New Enemy is Clear

Wanted: Dead or alive.

All is Well in the Kings Castle.

First off: I post pictures because I care. I want you to see. We're American, we don't read, we look at the pictures. I care.












Next, I love everything. I'm so happy in my little cute fishbowl. I can just swim around and be happy. I can do EVERYTHING I want. Anytime, if I choose, I can go see my girlfriend. It's a joy to have TOTAL control over all things "me."

Life sure is a bowl full of cherries. And to quote Sarah Silverman: "When God gives you AIDS, make lemonades.

Katori Shingo Destroys World.

First remember Shingo no Mama, our morning hero. Now a hero gone bad in the latest threat from Japan.

Rolling Bomber Special

Watch until you r eyes bleed.

I Hate this Fucking Guy.

This fucking guy. I hate him so much. I hate him in 3-D. I hate him in stereo. I hate him in the morning. I hate him in the evening. I general I just hate him.














Look at him. His dynamic features. His raw, unadulterated, brisk masculanity. Who the fuck does he think he's sodomizing? I will simply have no more of his brash, ruthless, or wild boyish antics. It simply wont be tolerated!














That Smile! It scorns my loins! I can hardly restrain the anger in my heart. I just want to realease it all in a blistering explosion of fury! What are you doing? Don't you dare!...














...Two at once! How can a man with only one tongue manipulate two straws simultaneously? It's almost too much to bear! I'll never forgive you Kelly Jacobs! You are forever my favorite enemy! Look me in eyes! Look me right in the fucking eyes!

Nerd Dies on Bicycle

Today, the family of Oakville Southern Senior Theodore "Fuck off Creep" Richmond gather to honor the memory of their fallen kin. "Ted was a special child," said Ted's english teacher, "He was very much into science fiction and was a excellent writer." Ted Richmond was accellerating his bike down the 600 block of Main St early Saturday morning trying to achieve wht he told friends was a "Special speed" in which he will transend time itself, when he was struck by what was described as a "stampede of automotive death" which "ignited a symphonic storm of carnage." Despite overwelming evidence of Mr. Richmond's passing, some members of a group calling themselves "The Oakview Time Conductors" claim that Ted is very much alive but is in a different era. "His current trip was to the year 2555," said Grand Time Commander Louis Loren, "His mission is simple, go save Princess Lucia, and defeat the Evil Emperor Id." Mr. Loren admited that Mr. Richmond was overdue for his return and that the group had been planning a rescue effort. Ted is survived by his mother, stepfather, a level 65 Necromoger, a level 50 Dark Knight Elf, and his internet girlfriend and lover Alyson Woods.

In Japan, Suicide Still Rules

Mega Mega Toys LTD released its newest and most fun way to euthenise "youth in asia" this week, the "Handy Hippo Handgun," a small hand gun fashioned like a hippo is being called a best buy my Consumers Diguest. The kiddie sidearm is light wieght easy yo clean and holds enough ammo for a birthday party at a skating rink. The Product already a global killer should reach american markets by early March.

One Thunder Kick Kick to the Neck Please!

This man once kicked a nun in her throat. Her real throat, without mercy. A real american hero. Fear all that is Muscle-Violence Arms... and legs. Point being, don't fuck around.

Purple Tom

So today I climbed into the back of Purple Tom's Car and waited for him to come out. I was hiding in the back of his purple station wagon. When he had started the car and was on his way he made a phone call to his girlfriend. He was all like "I am a man" and she was like "not until I say so," and he was like "Okay master." It was so much bullshit. I wanted to jump out of the back and punch him in the face. Instead, I jumped out and put a grocery bag over his head. We didn't crash but Tom wet his pants. Judging by the location of the wet spot, I have verified that Tom lost his penis. I asked him and he said that he put it in a shoe box under his bed, and that he was saving it for a "special" day. Upon return to the quad, we went up to his room and Tom showed me his penis in a box. It appeared that Stir and Rednick had found it during a Low 5 session and had put graffiti on it. Tom was so angry to find that they had drawn peni all over his penis. But Tom in his no-testosterone rage was subdued by a heartwarming Hallmark trading card commercial and retired his crusade to get Nick and Stir. Tom took his penis into the bathroom and cleaned it off. Tom decided that his penis wasn't safe anywhere else and reluctantly reattached his member to himself. Immediately his posture changed and a full beard exploded on his face. Tom screamed in liberating madness and played hours of videogames with his friends until the sun rose. Truly a star was truly born.